Posts tagged starchild

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Paul having a little trouble controlling his new anti-gravity leg warmers. Zoom

Paul having a little trouble controlling his new anti-gravity leg warmers.

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Posted 1 year ago

Paul Stanley, An Erotic Life: Vol. 1, That Ain’t No Pistol

“How many people really like to PARTY?

“Well, I want to tell you something.  A couple a days ago, I’d been partying myself, so I thought it was time to go to the doctor and get myself checked out, you know what I’m talking about? [points in general direction of crotch]

“And I go walking in to the doctor’s office, I go walking in, I got my appointment for 10:30, I go walking in, it’s about 10:15, you understand?  I go walking in, and the doctor’s not there yet.  But I walk in, I see a nurse with the biggest tits I’ve seen in a long time. [wild applause from crowd]

“Now this girl’s tryin’ to be real cool, so I sit down, and I start reading my magazine. Now she goes walking by me, she’s trying to make believe that I’m not really there. She goes walking by me like this…[struts towards drumkit while moving hips in an exaggerated manner and then twirls on right heel]

“Now, I catch on real quick, so I say ‘Excuse me, nurse, could you come over here for a minute?’ She comes walking over to me.  I said, ‘Bend down here, I got something to tell ya.’  She bends down, I grab a hold of her real quick - [spins around so his back is facing the crowd and mimes making out with nurse] - all of a sudden she starts to catch on, she says to me, ‘Why don’t we start this examination just a LITTLE BIT EARLY!’ 

“I said ‘alright’, she says to me, ‘Paul, why don’t you take off your shirt?’ [takes off shirt] Then she says to me, ‘Why don’t you take off your pants?’ Now I look at this girl, I say ‘Honey, I’m feelin’ just a little bit shy.’ So she looks at me, I’m wearing my Levi’s, my 501s, you know those real tight ones? So she walks over, she bends down, [raises arms over head] and she undoes that little snap at the top [clucks tongue], then she reaches down just a little bit and she undoes the next one, she goes [cluck], next one [cluck], she opens up my pants, she checks her hand out to make sure it’s not too cold, and she sticks it down the front. [mimes nurse’s hand kneading his genitals]

“And she pulls out, [staggers back six feet, as if unfurling a giant penis] and she says to me, ‘Paul, what are you doing with that pistol down your pants?’ I said to her, ‘Honey, that ain’t no pistol.’…..I said to her, ‘Honey, that ain’t no pistol, that’s my’….I SAID, ‘HONEY, THAT AIN’T NO PISTOL, THAT’S MY - LOVE GUN!!!!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Da0mhC64JYc

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Posted 1 year ago
The Starchild wants YOU to have a Happy Valentine’s Day. Zoom

The Starchild wants YOU to have a Happy Valentine’s Day.